Julia Gillard as Captain Edward Smith

On the RMS Labortanic
 
“Attention! Hear this,
hear this, passengers; this is
your captain speaking.

Accidentally,
we steamed into an iceberg
but we’re not leaking

anywhere at all
that cannot be mended with
a little tweaking.

My whole crew refused
to elect a new master,
so no-one’s seeking

a change in leader.
I’ve won! I’m the best captain!
Ignore the shrieking.”

UPDATE (4 May):  see “Julia Gillard stops one boat”:

Prime Minister Julia Gillard experienced a sinking feeling that she was going down with the ship in Tasmania on Wednesday.

The Prime Minister's flying visit to the north-west included a tour of Devonport’s new $4 million Bass Strait Maritime Centre, which was built with federal, state and council funding.

Ms Gillard was invited to take the controls of the 1925 steam ship S.S. Woniora simulator, and […] she should hang onto her day job, with the good ship Woniora going to the bottom of the Mersey River with the Prime Minister at the helm.