Pres. Obama Sued by Empty Suit

We are shocked to learn, by way of various news services and the neo-neocon blog, some stunning legal news.  By documents lodged in a Washington District Federal Court, yesterday, an empty suit is suing U.S. President Barack Obama for defamation of character and fraudulent appropriation of identity: 

The plaintiff’s attorney, Nigel Barratry, who has entered amicus curiae briefs and a pair of shorts, explained yesterday that he will, conjointly, also lodge a private prosecution, and that the criminal and civil charges include misuse of usufructuary, misprision, plagiarism, peculation, subrogation, and (by alleging further that the defendant was ineligible to be a candidate for president) obtaining a pecuniary advantage by deception, and treason.

Pres. Obama, according to the suit, has given empty suits everywhere a bad name.
The White House has not yet issued an official response.  An inside source, however, said that the briefs had no legs to stand on, and that the President would make an eloquent response as soon as Prof. Bill Ayers could be located to write it.
Meanwhile, Mr. Barratry further revealed that his firm, Amble & Chaser have received scores of communications from numerous other items and apparel—such as windbags, douche-bags, sock-puppets, marionettes and windsocks—, which, feeling similarly deflated and injured, effete and useless,  have expressed a wish to join the empty suit’s suit suitably thereunto.